The Identity Shift That Happens Before You Hit Your Goal Weight
When I started this journey, I thought confidence was something I’d earn at the end.
Like once I hit my goal weight.
Once I was “done.”
Once my body finally looked the way I thought it needed to look.
That’s not how it worked for me.
Not even close.
If anything, the biggest changes happened way before I ever got near my goal weight, and that surprised me more than the weight loss itself.
Confidence Didn’t Wait for the Finish Line
I remember being around 230 pounds very clearly.
That number matters to me because it wasn’t a goal weight. It wasn’t a finish line. It was still very much the middle of the journey.
And yet… I felt good.
Not perfect.
Not finished.
But genuinely good in my body.
I remember getting dressed and not immediately wanting to change everything. I remember catching my reflection and not zooming in on everything I hated. I remember thinking, okay, I actually like how I look right now.
That moment stopped me in my tracks.
For most of my life, I believed confidence was something I had to earn by getting smaller. That liking my body was only allowed once I hit some imaginary number. But there I was—still very much “in it”—and I already felt different.
That’s when I realized something important:
The identity shift starts earlier than you think.
The Identity Shift Happens in Layers
Once that first shift happened, it didn’t stop. It stacked.
Every time I lost another 20 pounds, I noticed another layer of confidence show up. Not in a loud, dramatic way. In a quiet, everyday way.
I felt more comfortable walking into rooms.
I felt less aware of my body all the time.
I felt more present in conversations instead of constantly thinking about how I looked.
Nothing about that felt forced. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be confident. It just happened as I kept showing up.
Being Seen Felt Different
One of the biggest places I noticed this shift was on camera.
For a long time, I hid. I filmed “safe.” I only showed my face. I obsessed over angles. I watched everything back with a critical eye.
And then, slowly, that changed.
I started enjoying filming.
I stopped hiding my body.
I stopped overthinking every clip.
I stopped feeling that pit in my stomach when I hit record.
This didn’t happen because I hit a number on the scale.
It happened because my relationship with myself changed.
I wasn’t waiting for permission anymore.
You Start Living Like “Future You”
This is what I mean when I talk about the identity shift.
At some point, you start acting like the version of yourself you used to think only existed in the future.
You trust yourself more.
You second-guess yourself less.
You show up without apologizing.
You take up space more naturally.
Your body might still be changing—but you already are.
And that’s powerful.
It’s Not Perfect (And That’s Okay)
This doesn’t mean the journey suddenly becomes perfect.
There are still days when jeans you were sure would fit… don’t.
There are still stalls that mess with your head.
There are still moments where comparison sneaks in hard.
And there’s fear too—especially fear of regain.
Once you’ve lost a significant amount of weight, that fear is real. You realize you actually have something to protect now. That doesn’t mean you don’t trust yourself. It usually just means you care.
What I’ve learned is this:
The confidence you’re building now—the routines, the awareness, the self-trust—that’s what protects you long-term. Not perfection.
Comparison Still Happens
Comparison might be the hardest part of this journey.
You’ll see people losing faster.
You’ll see people hitting goal weights sooner.
You’ll see people in maintenance while you’re still very much in the middle.
Sometimes comparison hits harder because you’re doing well.
This is something I remind myself of constantly:
Their journey does not cancel mine.
And it doesn’t cancel yours either.
The confidence you felt at 230 mattered.
The confidence you felt at 210 mattered.
The confidence you feel right now matters.
None of it is fake just because you’re not finished.
You Don’t Have to Wait to Celebrate Yourself
This is the heart of what I want you to take away from this.
You don’t have to wait until the end of your journey to enjoy it.
You don’t have to hit your goal weight to feel confident.
You don’t have to shrink more to be proud of yourself.
You don’t have to earn joy by suffering longer.
This entire journey is worth celebrating.
The early wins.
The middle wins.
The way you carry yourself differently now.
The way you show up in your life.
If you feel better in your body right now, that counts.
If you like how you look today, that counts.
If you feel more confident even though you’re not “done,” that counts.
If You’re Reading This in the Middle
If you’re early on this journey, start paying attention—not just to the scale, but to how you’re already changing. How you talk to yourself. How you move through the world. How you show up.
If you’re in the middle, don’t overlook how far you’ve already come just because the scale is being annoying.
That shift you’re feeling? It’s real. And it almost always shows up before the finish line.
Final Thought
This journey isn’t just about reaching a number.
It’s about becoming someone who feels confident, capable, and proud—long before the scale ever says “goal.”
And if that’s already happening for you, even a little bit?
Let yourself enjoy it.
You’re allowed to feel good now.
